I stumbled across an update I forgot to post from May. I thought I would include it since it fits this video blog I made about the same topic.
As you can see God has been hard at work and teaching me a lot about this issue of not getting ahead of myself by living in the imaginary future.
May, 2016 –
I can’t believe it’s May already.
This month probably is my most significant since there are a couple big “firsts” and Brad’s health took a significant turn for the worst a year ago. And it was near the end of May, 2015 when Brad was admitted to Faith Hospice’s inpatient facility where he stayed until he passed away. Soon I will experience my first Mother’s Day and my wedding anniversary without him.
The panicked feeling is fading, yet it still feels like the air gets sucked out of the room when I realize that he is really truly gone from this earth. It’s strange to look at the old photographs and to know that I won’t see him again here on earth. It feels surreal, unbelievable, and still shocking.
Life still moves on.
Kellin finished his first year at Grand Valley State University and was hired as a full-time summer intern at IBM. He will be in the same department and working alongside of his oldest brother, Cameron. Devon is planning to resume his college education soon with the goal of working on an engineering degree. And I flew to North Carolina to visit Cameron. He and I went on a furniture shopping expedition to turn his bare apartment into a cozy home.
I also experienced some big changes. I moved out of the apartment which had been temporary housing and into my new residence. Currently I preparing to hold an estate sale of our family old furniture and belongings. I have also started to date. All new things. Things I would never have predicted or expected when I envisioned my future. This has taught me a valuable lesson: the future is only a fantasy. All each of us has been given is this moment in time: NOW.
The question is what will we do with it?
Here are some updates:
Kellin’s internship was great! He is back at school. Devon is making progress towards his goal of returning to college, and Cameron is doing well in North Carolina.